I know how you feel... I am on the same path as you. I must say that is scary for me to trust or let people into my life, but I know that I cannot close doors forever too... it drives me crazy, this never ending doubt but I believe that I must accept the risks.
I am stronger day after day, like you. I think once or another we might let a toxic person get closer, but as we are becoming experts in this type of beings detection, it will get easier to let them go over time.
Life is short and goes faster than we think. I am so glad for your support. I think others have the same feeling as us or did the same thing but accept and say it out loud, only few does.
Thank you, Race Bannon!